BAMBI and NATURAL SELECTION

Posted by Minni

Now showing: BAMBI and NATURAL SELECTION
Starring:
JUDE NIXON
as
the voice of BAMBI

JUDE NIXON
as
the voice of THE LION
(all other voices also played by the multi-talented JUDE NIXON)

Director: Jude Nixon
Producer: Jude Nixon
Screenplay inspired by an impromptu performance by:
Jude Nixon

ACT I

Scene I: Daytime. Long shot of sunny green meadow. Grass waving peacefully in wind. Sound of the trickle of a stream nearby. From the edge of a thick green forest, a group of Deers stroll across the meadow: a doe, a buck and one fawn. Zoom to close shot of fawn, BAMBI (aka JUDE NIXON). Bambi has large eyes and eyelashes, alert little ears (awww isn't JUDE cute?).
CUT to THE LION a.k.a. JUDE NIXON (budgeting issues prevented us from using real animals, JUDE did a better job anyway), crouched on his hands and knees in the shady edge of the forest by the stream. His teeth are bared. He is eyeing BAMBI because he knows it is the weakest. Close shot of JUDE, looking ravenous.
CUT to the Fawn, innocently wandering a little too far from her group, smells a flower or something pretty.
FLASH a screen of LION (Mean Jude). Flash Screen of BAMBI (cute Jude). LONG SHOT of the meadow seems peaceful at first. Then LION leaps out of hiding and launches himself towards BAMBI. FOCUS on LION in blurred moving frame. CUT to BAMBI: the Fawn Panics, sprinting for its parents, not fast enough. LION snaps it's neck. The strong adults retreat unharmed. Natural selection plays out once again.

############################################################
"So you see." Jude composed himself in front of the class after a fevered performance of Hunter and Hunted. He straightened his tie and smoothed out the legs of his pants ever-so elegantly. Nothing about Jude was abrupt, accepted for when he channeled LIONS. "Darwin said, 'if there is this higher being, then why so much suffering? Don't you see?" He laughs as he gestured with his hands, "It is natural selection. Randomness, you undastand?"
A student, we'll call him JESUS FREAK spoke up. "There is no proof of Evolution." He said. "But Creation is real. It's in the bible."
"But you first have to undastand the dynamics of science. You cannot go about that in manner with scientific studies. " He paused. "Anyone want to comment?"
The class erupted in a chatter of debates/arguments.
"This is what I like to see." Jude smiled leaning back in his chair. "This is a topic that we cannot overlook if we read book like Vestiges. Now, imagine publishing this book..."
Jude was interrupted by Jesus Freak#2. "But If the lion ate BAMBI than that LION was the DEVIL. God uses his power and so does the devil. Darwin was like the Devil because...."
"Let me explain this better. Perhaps the first example was not the best." Jude leaned forward in his chair. The class feel silent. Time for anther thrilling performance. Jude always kept the class at the edge of their seats...Literally. "I want you on the edge of your seats." He said with an amused JUDE laugh.
"Now imagine what would happen if the LION didn't kill BAMBI. Let us say...Let us say he got a cellular phone call, you know?" Jude raised his hand to his mouth hesitantly as if waiting for a reaction, then broke out into laughter, the class, less amused, chuckled. JUDE crouched back up into the position of the LION.
ACT II
Scene I:
LION: My my. That deer looks good. And I am hungry. I think it will be easiest to get the little one, so...Here goes...
CELL PHONE RINGS
LION: SHIT! I've got to get that. It is God.
LION: Hello?
God: Do not eat that deer. It is little. What are you thinking? Are not allowed to eat the little deer.
LION: Oh, dammit. All right then.
BAMBI: (Jude does high pitched voice) Thank you, God for saving me."
############################################################
Jude composed himself elegantly as the director of an HONORS COLLEGE might, after pretending to be both God, A LION, and BAMBI. "So now the Lion has to go Hungry possibly."
The class arouse back to it's former perturbed point.
"Let us get some order in here first. Chambers loved order." Jude smiled, maybe even smirked. "Now we can see that natural selection has a purpose. It is not evil, it is just nature. It is "Red in tooth and Claw" you know? We all have this maternal view of "mother nature" when really she is a beast. Some of the most beautiful things in----."
"But RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFAAAAAGGRRREE" The Jesus Freaks spoke, the evolutionists spoke. The class was getting hot, as the sun glared though the glass walls of the Honors College and cooked the already perturbed students alive...Metaphorically.
"Chambers loved metaphors." Jude Says once he had gotten the class back. "So let me give you one more. The class was, once again on the edge of their seats.

INTERMISSION
PREVIEW: In the next ACT, an ELK, who happenes to be handicapped is introduced...and so are Handicapp laws. Jude Nixon is great, if you're not in the honors college @ OU, google him ot stop by his office and experience the greatness of Jude. :)